“Yes, i had to, just to staysane, but this 211 beer keepsRunning through my brain”Quarter’s seized as being fun,As 1 more beer and the insanity has Begun.9 years sober, 3 more monthsahead, instead of passing out, its called Going to Bed..Subduing life, learning to relax,Realizing these AAs have got your back.Eating good, and sleeping well, learning that drinking can go to hell..Being someone to participate in groups, playing games and shooting Hoops.Listening to music, your favorite beats, staying at home not running the streets..Watching TV, Great with me,Learning stuff by watching discovery..Without the drink, im more at ease, drinking it seems, never Agrees..Tossing and turning, all night long,trying to sleep but awake till the dawn.Steady nerves and heart beat intact, singing ‘lord im glad it wasn’t a heart attack’.Social media, it can be really neat,Talking to an ole buddy or the new ones u meet..No more fights, At least its been a while, not having black eyes, and not acting wild.Not giving up, as i normally would do, commitments and making goals,and earning trust from you..Without the drink my life has improved, if u cant quit for someone,Then do it for you..C S U, and jails it seemed, was my place for rehab and others like me.We all, or no, have a story to tell,Insanity is subtle, and it puts you through hell..Believe it or not, sometimes it’s hardBut easier than before, as it you put your guards..Serenity its said, is what we need,But it sure beats the insanity..Family’s death’s and relatives too, is very sad, But too damn true..Honesty today, being respectful to others, growing your insights and pleases our mothers..With or without the drink, being one day at a time, i do my best to think and it remains on my mind..Subtle that sanity was so dam loose, you G O T to know, its got you in a Noose..For an alcoholic or simply drunk, if u will, it’ll take your life and leave you nill.There’s alot to it and i shouldn’t boast, but im alive today and to that,I WILL TOAST!It’s so different to me, as u can reveal to Yourself, There is N O trusting that DAMN LIQUOR SHELF!

. RIP john, My friend..Yes, I had to, just to stay sane,but since i quit, my life has never been the same, 9 yrs ago in 20-12 i couldn’t go near the dam liquor shelf.Mad at the world, The James Deanstyle, running in and out without even a Smile. The people i’ve seen dying, by my side, and the rest of the gang, not quite alive.. They conjured up change,A quarter at a time, begged a little more and wound up with a dime..Telling the world, how they feel inside, feeling the relief off a bottle of wine.I had to quit but and it dawned on me though, larry’s no longer alive and neither is Joe.. To be non fiction his name is revealed, john was the man who was dealt the worst deals..Good ole john, I liked him alot, we knew each other well and we knew were distraught, He had his style in a business jacket, a dressed up BaptistAnd a cold stone addict, begging just the same, in the neat town, people knew him cause they seen him around.Sleeping in the parking lot, and some at the lake, not going to sleep because of the tremors and shakes. Crying once again late at night, wanting to give up and planning it just right,Seldomly laughing though it would never end, hoping and praying for my best friend. John was old and had parkinsons disease, he talked about god and other things, He did have a room in a quaint little house, but he was too confused because of his mental health. I moved away, from myBarrel boys days, and intentionally sought help from some old AA’s..So the storys winds up as it stems forever, feeling sorry for the folks whoDidn’t make it through the weather..The times and memories from buggingIn that town, James and john and us all being around, They seemed like it never would end, i didn’t say goodbye but it had to end.. I remember them well, as in a story from a book, and my johnny and the others that it took..

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